Yoda, Thank You

by Kee Kee on March 2, 2017

in Change,New Jersey,Yoda

I said goodbye to my furry shama warrior on Tuesday night. My friend Dorry Bless, a Life-Cycle Celebrant, conducted a beautiful ceremony celebrating his life, and then he was set free in Eric’s and my arms in the studio next to the grand piano, his favorite place in the house. I read him this thank you letter before he transitioned. Now it is time to somehow, someway find shama amidst the heartbreak. I’ll eventually do it. And he’ll be helping me from above.

***

February 28, 2017

My Dearest Yoda,

It has been the greatest honor of my life to be your human. I’m filled with gratitude that you chose me 12 ½ years ago. We have been family from the moment that you first looked at me with those big, caramel colored eyes and I felt you were looking straight into my soul. We were a team of two for most of the time, and finally we have become a team of three (oh how happy I am to have finally given you a daddy!).

You have been the greatest teacher of my life. But of course that’s the case, given you share a name with the wisest and most masterful of all Jedi Masters. It had to be you, Yoda. It couldn’t have been any other dog to show me The Force. You are a shama warrior.

I was pretty sad and lost when we met. You saved me. And then you led me on the most transforming journey of my life as we drove for five months seeking shama. Here’s the wonderful thing: I actually found it through our epic road trip! Of course afterwards I realized that inner-peace is fleeting. It comes and goes. Life is complicated, messy, and heart wrenching. But I think it’s supposed to be. I think that those of us who embody the human form are put here to learn to find shama in every moment of the chaos of life.

Oh the life we have shared! We’ve lived at the beach, in the hills, on a lake, and now in the woods. California, Texas, Wisconsin and now New Jersey have been home to us. And of course Princess Leia the Prius was also our home as we drove around the country together. You’ve visited more states than many people. What a big, bold, beautiful life we’ve built together.

You have made sure that I safely arrived at the place in life you were supposed to deliver me to. You have prepared me to continue putting all the lessons we learned on the road into practice. I am eternally grateful to you, Master Yoda. Finding shama in each situation that is presented to me will be a constant practice for the rest of my life. I’m ready now to do that without you. I’ll be okay, I promise. I will not pull on your energies when you are gone, but I will absolutely love you in a new magnificent way.

I’m going to miss you. And right now I can’t imagine life without you in it. But that’s the wonderful thing about life, right? We can’t imagine what beauteous thing might be just around the corner.

You have touched so many people throughout your life. You are so loved, even by people who have never met you. But no one has ever loved you the way that I love you. What a gift it has been to share a life with you. Our bond has been such that at times I’ve felt we are one. But the time has come to untangle our souls and go our separate ways.

I’m going to miss your bouncy bat ears, your itsy bitsy Mohawk, your fur that is still as silky soft as a bunny, your soulful eyes, and our walks together. I’m going to miss the way you bury your head into my chest, almost like you can’t get close enough. I’m going to miss just being together as you lay under my desk at my feet.

My sweet prince, it’s time for you to transition to formlessness, and to move on to a glorious place where you no longer are in pain. You can let go of the heavy load of worry that you have carried in this lifetime. Your separation anxiety has been filled with worry about protecting me. But I no longer need you to protect me. I’m safe. I promise.

Thank you for choosing me as your human. Thank you for teaching me patience and unconditional love. Thank you for being my protector and for giving me courage. And thank you for teaching me about inner-peace. Now it is time for me to find shama amidst the grief when you are gone. I’ll do it honey, I promise.

I’m excited for you, my precious one. Oh what wonderful freedom awaits you. Daisy, Leroy, Tessa, Molly and Ollie are all waiting for you. Go to them. It’s time for you to slip into eternal shama.

I love you with every ounce of my being.

—Kee Kee

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

paulla March 2, 2017 at 9:26 am

I will always hv a warm place filled by Yoda in my heart. I am so very sorry for your loss. You will continue on , finding your Shama. And he will be so pleased!!! Kee Kee meeting you both was such a wonderful treat for me. I just wish I could hv had more one on one time with you, so many things I wanted to learn from you…
Glad to hear your in a happy place, I am just taking care of Mom and Dad. Brie doing exceptional well in Law School. 1 more year! I’m just going through the motions of life. Dr appts, meds to pick up, call in refills, take here and there, cook and clean. Then I get to start all over with my own home! This too shall pass, I keep chanting in my head! LOL looking for my Shama, anyone seen it?

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Kee Kee March 3, 2017 at 2:13 pm

Oh Paulla, so wonderful to hear from you! I so enjoyed getting to know you when we were in Hot Springs, and it goes without saying that your mom forever has a special place in my heart for letting me and Yoda stay with her for so long. Go Brie! I love that she’s in law school. And re the motions in life, I’m finding that maybe the secret to true contentment is by surrendering to the beauty in those motions. Give my love to your mom. And your shama is there…it is!

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Randy March 2, 2017 at 9:27 am

Beautiful, Kee Kee. What a wonderful gift to share that precious time together. Peace to you, and goodbye Yoda.

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Kee Kee March 3, 2017 at 2:13 pm

Thank you so much Randy.

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Kathy Knapp March 2, 2017 at 9:40 am

Ohhhhh!!! How perfect a tribute to your 4-legged best friend. You put words to feelings I had when I had to say good-bye to my furry best friend Sadie Sunshine. I cried harder over losing her than over some of my relatives! Your treasured relationship with Yoda is the stuff of life, what money can not buy and your memories are for EVER. Dogs are truly Angel’s with wings. I know, because like you, I have been saved by one. Giant hugs ♡

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Kee Kee March 3, 2017 at 2:16 pm

Oh yes Kathy, dogs are most certainly angels with wings! Put here to guide us from point A to point B…and then their job is done and they leave us. xoxo

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David Lee March 2, 2017 at 1:39 pm

Yoda was awesome and your letter to him embodies what we all think of our past best friends, that our lives are richer and make us better people because of their simple kindness and willing to be a co-pilot for all our adventures. I miss him dearly, he spent more time on my couch than I did when he was here for daycare. He always had an easy demeanor and straightforward gaze that seemed to say he had no more lessons to teach, he had done it all just like Yoda the Jedi. Or maybe he just wanted a treat. And driving him while he sat in the backseat and seeing his face and mohawk in the car mirror was priceless. It goes without saying he had a great life with you and recently with Eric, but Yoda touched many lives and shared companionship with many friends.
I envy the incredible roadtrips across the country and spiritual journey you were able to have with him and it reminds me of a beautiful song quote by Allison Moorer.

“I’d like to see those big ol’ cotton fields,
if you’re going I’m going too,
I’m ready to run baby,
through the sweet southern pines,
lie down in a bed of Camelia,
and watch the sun shine,
if you’re going to Alabama,
I could use a change of view,
but if you’re going to California,
that’s alright, any place will do,
well I guess I just wanna go with you.”

Dogs are our emotional vitamins and the loss of Yoda is going to be rough on you, please remember to take care of yourself. It was an honor to have been a part of his life and have him be a part of my dog family.
Be Yoda Strong! David

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Kee Kee March 3, 2017 at 2:33 pm

You were part of Yoda’s beloved family – your home was his second home in Austin. I can’t thank you enough for your friendship and for all the love you had for Yoda. And your words above just leave me speechless (and soggy eyed!). Big love to you.

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vince March 2, 2017 at 6:42 pm

Dear Kee Kee and Eric, So sorry to read about your lose. Your letter to Yoda was so heartfelt…what a send-off of love and appreciation for all the wonderful things he brought to you during your time together. Be strong. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Vin

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Kee Kee March 3, 2017 at 2:16 pm

Thank you Vince. Eric and I are both feeling your love.

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